Exercising discernment...

In a world that (constantly) tells you what you 'need'...

Just recently, I feel as if I’m being bombarded by people trying to sell me stuff and tell me what I need. Every time I listen to a podcast, the dreaded words ‘this podcast is sponsored by…’ interrupt the dialogue more often than ever before and the number of products that pop up on social media platforms is growing week on week. Even my Substack feed this week recommended the skincare products I should be using and the regimes I should be following; it feels as if I’m being overwhelmed by others telling me what I need to do, use and be to live MY life.

I understand that selling products and services is part of the world we live in, but it feels as if some kind of madness is taking over the world right now. As a 68 year old woman, I seem to be a target for incontinence supplements (endorsed by at least 3 celebrities) and this morning I saw an ad for some kind of ‘special’ wipes to be used when going to the loo; not wishing to sound crude, but if I’m not able to wipe my bum at my age, I really am in the s—t!

I posted a note earlier in the week about the apparent need for using an ever increasing range of skincare products, with more clinically sounding acids than you can shake a stick at; when did double cleansing become a thing? Why is it that despite the range of products now available to us, some women’s faces look more unnatural than ever before.

I’ve recently become aware of deodorants being marketed at women in spray, cream and stick form which can be used on the chest and feet areas as well as underarms, as if we need to cover ourselves in fragrance to hide the fact that we smell bad. Also, hair products that add shine, moisture and combat frizziness…the list really is endless.

The supplement business is bigger than ever before and collagen and creatine ads are prolific, the implication being we need certain supplements for our health and if we’re not taking the latest pills, capsules and potions, all hell will break loose.

I’ll be absolutely honest and tell you I’ve been caught up in believing I needed fixing at different times in my life and have taken supplements believing they’d help me get back on track. I call my early 60s a time of ‘positive disintegration’ when some part of me made it very clear I needed to make changes in how I lived my life.

The article below pretty much describes part of the path I was on and the last few years have been fundamental in becoming more autonomous and grounded in myself.

"Something Is Wrong With Me": How the Nervous System Learns This Belief and How We Heal

When I started to feel unwell back then, I turned to complementary medicine for help which turned out to be quite costly and was only helpful inasmuch as the therapist actually listened to me, rather than asking me whether I was thinking of taking my own life and prescribing anti depressants as my GP did. I took ashwagandha, magnesium glycinate and various dietary supplements, not understanding then that there was no way I was ever going to avoid ‘doing the work’ of getting to know myself and my behaviour patterns if I wanted to feel at ease in my own body.

I have the utmost respect and love for my body and although I’m in no way precious about it, I take good care of my body and my mind. Filtering out all the noise of what others tell me I need to look and feel good requires discernment and an awareness of what’s right for me.

I haven’t slept very well this week and I’m aware of feeling slightly in ‘flight mode’; my startle reflex is really jumpy and I feel a little overwhelmed around noise and busyness at the moment. At one time, I’d have pushed myself through these messages from my body, believing I just needed to get on with it; I’d have been overthinking, asking myself what was ‘wrong’ and what was the cause of how I was feeling, which would leave me circling around a never ending loop of asking questions that never reach a solution. I’d have believed I was at fault somehow and if I could find the fault, I could fix it and all would be well.

Now, I operate on a ‘sensation without explanation’ basis, know my nervous system is heading towards capacity and do what I need to do to regain equilibrium. For me, that means going out for breakfast after my yoga practice in a place where there’s plenty of space and where I can sit outside in the sunshine; I’ve been for a walk along the canal towpath on my own and paid attention to everything around me and I’ll spend the next couple of days reading and chilling, with no plans to do anything or go anywhere.

Building a non critical, loving and compassionate relationship with myself has been and continues to be life transforming; I don’t need to look outside myself to know what I need to look and feel well. No amount of products or supplements can replace good nutrition, moving my body and being kind to myself.

There are so many products, services, supplements and regimes available to us nowadays and it can be exhausting if we allow all that noise in without discerning what’s right for each of us. I know I’ll feel more settled in the next few days and I know my body is processing something, but there’s no hurry to figure anything out. As I develop greater trust in myself, I can relax, take my time and go with the flow.

Wishing you a beautiful weekend,

With love,

Karen x